The Steps To Breaking Up With Eric
1. Removed your name (and everyone with the same name) from Facebook and report you directly to Mark Z.
2. Called the Maury, Jerry, Oprah, Ricky, Rachel, Judge Mathis and Dr. Phil to schedule your “why she mad” episode.
3. Signed your walking papers and denounced your membership to www.TheWholeInternet.com
4. Nominated you as a member of NA-DEBE (The National Association of Don't Even Bother Explaining)
5. Hired 4 midgets to assassinate your character (oh, they bust out knee caps for fun)
6. I told your friends to unfollow you on Facebook because you are a threat to National InSecurity.
7. Auctioned the “E” from your name on eBay and updated your birth certificate to say ric.
8. And I told my mama on you.
#wearesodone
#nomorechances
#stillwantmycigarettes
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