Everything Will Change 11.11

Really Really

Eric For Sale To Lowest Bidder

This Dude for Sale 👁🙌🏾👁

👍🏽You can re-name him to suit your needs
👍🏽Good with Facebook 

For immediate sale, one baby daddy, slightly used. If interested, please inquire. Details below:

Model: Caucasian
Gender: Male
Quantity: 1
Previous Owners: 4k
Accessories: no baggage
Status: single
Age: 29
Hair: short dark blonde and gel'd
Vision: nearsighted for other women, hazel
Special skills: puts toilet seat down after use and loves bouncy houses
Training: self-cleaning, jumping ship
Personality: funny (not) and honest (not)
Known defects: All that you can think of and uses hair gel
Runs on: Thai food and hamburgers
Habitat: midtown Baltimore
Co-habitation: none (no roommates)
Last rotation: 2 months ago
Compatible with: unknown
Annual checkup: technician's report: "future outlook is bright"
Known allergies: mildly allergic to cats (goes away after a day)
Finances: low debt, good bank balance
Movies: yes
Dinner: preferably with the opposite sex
TV: only HBO
Cloned: yes
Original model: yes
Languages: English, HTML
Sex: varies
Programmable: yes
Condition: a few dents
Price: best offer

How To Break Up With Eric

The Steps To Breaking Up With Eric

1. Removed your name (and everyone with the same name) from Facebook and report you directly to Mark Z.

2. Called the Maury, Jerry, Oprah, Ricky, Rachel, Judge Mathis and Dr. Phil to schedule your “why she mad” episode.

3. Signed your walking papers and denounced your membership to www.TheWholeInternet.com

4. Nominated you as a member of  NA-DEBE (The National Association of Don't Even Bother Explaining)

5. Hired 4 midgets to assassinate your character (oh, they bust out knee caps for fun)

6. I told your friends to unfollow  you on Facebook because you are a threat to National InSecurity.

7. Auctioned the “E” from your name on eBay and updated your birth certificate to say ric.

8. And I told my mama on you.
#wearesodone
#nomorechances
#stillwantmycigarettes